I learnt a new word today ... velleity, meaning “a mere wish, unaccompanied by an effort to obtain it”.... And as if there were these amazing linkages that the world has in store for you, the mere word triggered the thought of an uncle of mine who was a palmist and would often read my hand whenever we used to visit his place in Mumbai... and tell us of the wondrous days that was in store for us. I would on my way back as a young girl look at my palms and wonder where the words were written... and back we would go to him again months later and the process would start all over again.... seemingly telling us that the writing on the palm may have changed or perhaps have changed. Was it the soap that I used? A simple question for a 10 year old.... but a question that hasn’t gotten answered as yet.
And today, when I heard the word ‘velleity’, it was like going back to one of those moments when I asked my uncle if I would get all that I wished for (am sure there was something objectified there... and am assuming that a young girl could have limited her wishes then to dolls, books, nail polish... or the like... things would have been different though)... he smiled, and heaved a sigh, (the sigh was more like the puff of cigarette smoke that emanated from his mouth when he would step out to smoke... and all of us would stealthily go to watch him smoke)... well, he heaved a sigh and said “ if you really want something, and want it strongly, the mere power of the desire will get you to your destination”..... I have often wondered what that meant and it was more like those dialogues that you listen to in movies, that stay with you.... some driven with powerful feelings, a few by its potent words, and many a times by the prevailing presence of the artiste...
The feeling of wanting was the same always through the years.... the direction changed though... books, cosmetics, travels, clothes, person / people you longed to be with.... and as always the power of the desire stayed the same....Some desires satiated, some not so .... And one wonders if those insatiated cravings were due to the frailty of its very nature... is there a measurement for it at all? Working in a corporate world, one gets conditioned to measuring everything... or perhaps it is the Indian mind so obsessed with the power of the zero that we get attuned to deal with ambiguities.... unravelling the power of null that plays its central role in all mathematics.... So is the null / the zero / the absence of wanting something so integral to what we term as the SUM of life...
So whether it is the power of the zero, or the knowledge that Velleity exists, guess I have today gained strength from what the late Harivanshrai Bachchan once told his son ...”Man ka ho to achha, man ka na ho, to aur bhee achha”....call it velleity, or not..... I am satiated with what exists and also not exists.... the power of the word I guess... you learn one word and that triggers a range of thoughts .....
Thanks for introducing the new word. Not sure when I can weave it into conversations, effortlessly!
ReplyDeleteI think a strong desire does produce the end result - you do get what you wish for. And what you do not get? Perhaps your wish was not strong enough to write it in your palm.
That is a beautiful article nishaad. Spun out of one word! Velleity. I have heard too, that if you want something hard enough, it happens. But I reckon you got to make space for it to happen. I hope, for all your avid readers, you happen on a casket of words to explore. Consider me on the trail as well. I do wish you wrote more often though - it's a blog, after all.
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