'Love is Blind...' - a breathtaking sentiment

The heat of warm water snuggling down your throat
A feeling of affection like the touch of a finger stroking a bare neck....
Thrusting a feeling that surge out in a raging form... flowing through the strokes....
Imagining the fondles through the flashes that one captures in those quintessential moments
Where the eye searches for the source
And then satisfied of its continued presence re-confides to darkness...

There is certain softness to darkness,....
Like the feel of satin, the momentous blending in its enormity...
a sanctuary in reaching out the known someone with eyes shut...
a self assurance of being loved in an sightless presence
a refuge for a selfish love reciprocated with selfish irresistibleness

Darkness.... a time which helps you comprehend need behind the act
The reason for the need and thereby the self himself....
Have spent hours through the darkness with and without the source
Attempting to appreciate the uniqueness of that self
Reading a logic in the actions

Life has been with him a series of soft dark moments
Believing in each other’s selves in moments of high and not so high
in times of low and responding to its depths....
and thereby creating one another

I have grown in this night.... there is a certain softness in this night,
with the stars all shining out....
the irony of this felt in a hot day afternoon....

My Time Tells....!

The clock on the wall and the watch on the wrist
all telling time... of time telling moments
an occasion, an instance ... a spell!!
The moment when a vision becomes a picture
the picture a being, and the being a kiss...
the gentlest of touch ... a moment in time...
the kiss... like the ticking of a micro second

Time is a feeling... an mood that sets an event in motion
a sentiment that expresses reactions...
a sensation... of numbing and tinkling of nerves
The time of conception, labour, birth and death... all moments of feeling....
Capturing the rest... happiness, love, sadness,.... love....
Only Time can Tell..... the feelings of one and all...

I am looking through the diary of my thoughts...and think through the decades...
the times I have loved, not so loved, being loved and not so much so...
And ecapsulated in all these feelings are those innumerable tick tock moments
maturing me from one second to the other....
The moments in me have grown... and therefore ME!!!

Swaying with the Wind.... with Ashleys' and Butlers'!

It doesn’t take that too long a time to figure out that life has changed unless someone doesn’t really want to recognize it... though of course it pre-empts the fact that knowledge exists.... it was one such evening.... walking through a slightly chilly breeze; the slight nip in the air, hair let loose, with music flowing into my ears blocking every external sound out and watching the slimmer than the real shadow in front of me.... there was a slight rain, droplets and then dropulets.... One wonders if they are all related... maybe yes... they need to be.... at least that is what Eliot said! In the End was my Beginning!!!

The walk was crisp, brisk initially a tiredness wearing in slowly with the decrease of the pace... so was life.... it had worn itself out and it was time to wear a new one! One wonders if we can wear a new one in the absence of death.... the not so spiritual me asking this question often; maybe one can... the walk was torn between varying maybes!

It was the walk that one usually takes round the place you live... round and round... life goes in circles like this evening walk of mine.... reliving the days moments of happiness and sadness blended into one coming back in different packages instilling nostalgia!! How different was yesterday from today? Not just the walk... but the days as well.... maybe tomorrow will be different... my favourite word... tomorrow... its yet another day! Hopefully, I will meet my Clark Gable then!

Life is about that one long string of nostalgic moments...weird but true.... looking for autobiographical moments in television serials, intelligent conversations, emotional discussions ... it’s like being stuck at a traffic signal, u get the green ,drive a few feet and then get stuck again! U move slowly for some time, speed a bit when the lane gets better and then get a signal again! This goes on ...relationship after relationship after relationship.... it’s like walking into a store and being asked to display all your wares... the fun is showing all that you have the expensive and the not so expensive one... and THEN the person walks away...let me look at another store... “Will come back after having tried somewhere else”.... it’s the price, the colour, the commodity!!!!! Always, the relationship shopped as commodities!! They usually come back.... its settling for the achievable and leaving an (un)settling moment to be born....

And it is at this time that I keep wondering... I am walking now with both my feet on the ground! Thinking through my feeling... Literally, maybe figuratively I am not... always thought its best to be on cloud 9; or at least a few feet above the ground... not wanting to get someone else to sweep me off my feet... or should I just keep waiting?

Guess the walk has come to its natural end... life’s full circle... I got to go back! And take that one thought into bed that ‘when people come together, they need to stay together’.... (I know I read that somewhere... wonder where?) It’s the time of the day when I tell myself safely secure in my Tara taking an oath that I will never ever go emotionally hungry again.... waiting to field through the tomorrow....

It’s the light at the end of the tunnel for me!!!

Frozen Fires...!

I have felt for long a certain pain that stops at a certain point
A pain that nags on and thus stays
Staying with it till one gets used to it....
Learns to live with it and
Often cries in the darkness of the night
Face down on the pillow
With hair falling over the shoulders

It is the pain that nags and doesn't delve deeper or rise into a blaze
It stays frozen leading to a despairable helplessness
A pain that lies suspended between nowhere
Moving from a nothingness to another nothingness...

Wherefore Henceforth..?

Life goes on and so does everything else; even after having lost that
One precious thing that you always had.

Today, as I sat watching images of reality that often brought tears in my eyes (as it did today) too,
I wondered how he felt about himself and those around him…

Like a blind assassin he walked into my life…
Fielding his way, paving a path through emotions
Growing seeds of faith and belief

Its my life now of challenges and being challenged
Of ways, and waywardness
Of frequent visits and visitations….

Fireflies....!

Streams of heat melting into moulds of varying colours. Seeking shapes of wantonness. Buried in deep sublimity of the fervor … the cycle of birth –death-rebirth was all-explicit in this intricate story of the candle and its flickering light. The cycle of life – the story of passion told by the fireflies!

The Candle of Heat as molten frozen into moulds… shaped through wanted shapes… befitting and beautifying the corners of elite ness! Signifying romance, passion, demureness, and the softening flame caressing through the dark, smoothening the wrinkles of maturity, the melting polish flowing through and around the frozen moulds melting it further….

The fireflies had danced through the night… witnessing the story of tempering and intensifying… It was all the known mystery of reeling in realms of ecstasy! ... about melting, the flowing and merging of one form into the other…. The emerging of the same in another form!

The cycle of birth-death-rebirth, of the melting, flowing and emerging. A series of melting highs and freezing lows! An embrace of hardened ire by drenched passion. A sequence of blissful life … time eludes one and all… the flame of life flickers and in its moment of death brightens the most, spurts of delight and vanishes into thick rings of smoke… circling …lingering for longer moments waiting for the darkness to recede … flames dimming for light to emerge!

The candle had led its life for the night! Experienced the passion of the night, embraced the desire of yielding in. It had danced the yin and yang of life!

"Wordsworth"ian Thoughts...!

I often hear a voice in me singing
The soft tones of a lullaby
Gently drifting me to a different world
Where a form comes by

I hold his hand which caresses me
With joy, love and affection
I hold his hand and lift my gaze
Look up with wonder and with daze
I speak with unspoken words to him
What do want from me? And in what form?

With twinkling eyes and a knowing glance
I see him going far beyond
The hand that I held goes further off
The gaze I see seems melting off

Yet, what power it holds the bond that lies
And, at that distance the answer lies
Thoughts that move between feeling minds
Those thoughts just felt and sensed
The person felt so far yet near
But a being that stays as mine as dear …